College Essay Practice - Love

**For the record, I have no actual idea of this is appropriate for a college essay, I was more just trying to describe an experience in an exaggeratedly descriptive form**

This wasn't supposed to happen. I had simply been trying to live my high school, teenaged life in peace, away from anything that could potentially distract me from my focus. And this notion had been fulfilled, day after day after day. And life was great. But once you fall in, you REALLY fall in, and there's no getting out... Not any time soon. Consider my thoughts and emotions sacrificed, free time reserved. Deem all my past advices and guidances invalid, discreditable. I won't be able to keep my mind to myself, because now, it's always occupied.

Love. That is what this is all about.

I've never felt a sensation quite like it before... I immediately felt the difference in feeling, the change in perspective. I hadn't liked him before now. I knew from the beginning that there was something a little bit off, but I let it go. It was the funniest thing realizing what was happening. It started out like any crush does, fleeting feelings, occasional thoughts, meticulous behavior analysis. That paranoid wondering if you're being too flirtatious, or too friendly, or too weird... It's never decided. You can never know, and the enigma of the unknown makes you anxious, making you sweat more than you usually would, and automatically reducing the quality of your appearance. You become uber self conscious and hyper aware of the relationships held with all the other girls. Normal teenager action.

But soon enough, the feelings became too strong to handle, and my world began to change. It wasn't a modest crush anymore. His smile and laugh weren't simple expression any longer... They would consume me, cloud my thoughts. His stride in his walk, the smoothness of all his movements combined all flowed together, an unintentional dance of modesty. No one else could recognize the sequence of movements, but it confronted me constantly, stealing my attention. I would absorb every word he told me. And no matter how much I would resist the power of it, resist my thoughts and emotions, nothing worked. So I fell deeper and deeper into a different part of myself.

The only problem is that I'm 16. Time after time friends would come to tell me how much they "loved" this person and that, their feelings being "too strong" to handle, and I'd respond with "No... You can't love at 16." Well, it appears that I have proven myself wrong, ironically falling into the same pattern of behavior I once chided others for. You can never fully understand until you experience it yourself. Now here I am, 16 years old, stuck in a world of feelings with no way out. Never assume what happens to others won't happen to you. Be humble, be understanding, be safe. ✌🏽️

Free Post - School

I am so done with the school year. I know the end is coming, but it won't come fast enough. I have been mentally unprepared for school for a few weeks now, unable to do my homework where it's supposed to be done... At home. Once I get home I immediately feel alleviated of stress, alleviated from obligated, alleviated from life. And I drift off to sleep, sometimes 4-5 hours at a time. I make up for all the lost hours of sleep that got tossed by a history project, or maybe by a precalculus packet. I sleep peacefully, dreaming of the would be's and the what if's in my perfect universe of imagination, complete with all emotions. Love, sadness, happiness, fatigue. And I'm at ease. Everything is well and good until I wake up, suddenly smacked and intimidated by all the duties that await me in that beautiful Jansport backpack not even 3 feet away. Omens of obligation and time consumption swirl around it menacingly, only coercing me further to stay in bed and sleep away my worries. As this has been a common decision made by me in these past few weeks, I pick up that Jansport with me after waking up late every single day, those omens surrounding me now, unacknowledged. Rings of fatigue infiltrate my cheeks. Sluggishness inhabits my eyes. Frailness possesses my body. I am not ready for school.

I am so done with this school year. 

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 3

I'm not sure how I feel about this book yet. I haven't even gotten to the 20% point and I'm already feeling uneasy about it. I actually like the start of the storyline, the main character and his perosnality, but it stills seems too scattered and a bit hard to follow. I still have to go read and reread lines because things change so quickly. And even the structure is different, with the lines of the different characters all smushed together in paragraphs rather than separate lines and visually that can be challenging for me sometimes haha. the font is rather small and the pages are long, so the simple appearance might actually be stressing me out. nd as I mentioned in a prior post, I'm still stressing out with school and a book like this may not be the correct choice right now. I want to be able to immerse myself in a book, and perhaps Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a book that requires special attention in order to truly grasp and assimilate the plot and the characterization without being distracted and discouraged by technicalities such as font size and page length. In reality, these things don't matter in your imagination.

Hamlet Response

Hamlet is most certainly a troubled character faced with a complex moral dilemma, much like what the average Christian describes as a trial. Growing up in a society of Christian values and studying theology at college, he knows what is considered right and what he should really do. However, just as Laertes points out, it's not really about him, it's about the state of Denmark. I think Foster really highlights Hamlet's internal conflict when he says "Hamlet's inaction in this scene is not a result of cowardice or even of a perception of moral ambiguity but rather the very thoroughness of his commitment." Sure, he's overcome with emotion and depression from the death of his father and his mother marrying so quickly to his brother, which isn't necessarily incestuous but seemingly wrong. Us as readers can understand his pain and suffering, but the idea of killing King Claudius isn't just out of spite, it was a request given from the ghost of his father as an act to save Denmark. At the end of the day, Hamlet isn't a slave to his own heart and ambition, he's a slave to Denmark, the country that he will rule soon (well, *would rule, if he hadn't killed himself). Being a prince leaves him to rid emotions and thoughts of himself and those around him (like Ophelia) and to simply do what is most beneficial for the kingdom, even if that means hurting people in the process. Since he is pretty sensitive, I don't know if he'd be strong enough to actually be able to handle the entire kingdom himself.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 2

Knowing me, I like to be able to relate to the characters in the book that I'm reading. It allows me to become more immersed into the plot, more connected to thew characters' thoughts and emotions. It becomes like a friendship. And with Oskar, I totally understand him. He overthinks everything, analyzes things people say to him and asks A LOT of questions. I do the exact same thing! MY friends and family say that I ask too many questions and that it can be annoying at times.  mean, I've never been in their position, but i don't think asking a lot of questions is a bad thing. Questioning what's going on around you and the actions of others means that you are a deep thinker. Deep thinkers don't take things at face value. Deep thinkers can see things from other perspectives. Deep thinkers aren't narrow minded and like to hear to other opinions. And I am proud to be a deep thinker, and Oskar should be proud as well, even more so since he's a genius and only 9 years old. Always question what you hear because sometimes people's opinions are biased and poorly thought out.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 1

This book is quite scattered in the beginning. I mean I suppose I could follow along, but it was quite hard to digest all of the information that he was giving me. Lots of description and development and stage setting in a very non cohesive order. I am a person that likes to keep things organized, so I became quite frustrated when I had to read through the beginning. And then all of a sudden, the narrator says that he can't speak and had to use a book to answer people's questions? That really caught me off guard. Like was this a terrible transition to a diary entry from a different character? It was dated in 1963 so Oskar was definitely not born, but it was such an abrupt change that I was too distracted by my own confusion to actually comprehend all that was going on in the chapter itself. I think I'm going to have to reread it lol. Plus, with all this testing and essays surrounding me right now I don't have a lot of focus to keep up with such a haphazardly written book. Maybe that's a bit much to say but it's the truth. I've heard so many good things about this book and i don't want to be disappointed. Hopefully I can give it the time and attention that it needs.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower 6

Remember how I mentioned that Brad would bully Patrick by calling him names? Well... Brad decided to make an entire scene by saying all types of nasty things, and Charlie wasn't having it. Not at all. Long story short, Brad starts punching and wrestling Patrick, Brad's friends get involved and start beating Patrick, so Charlie gets involved. After a lot of chair throwing and hard punches, Charlie wins!!!! #teamcharlie I had this mental image of Charlie being a little scrawny, small boy that would be weak, but sometimes the little ones surprise you! He beat Brad down and threatened to BLIND him and tell everyone his secret if he tried something again!!! OMG. In that moment I just felt so proud. Charlie stood up for once, and it wasn't even for himself. That takes quite a bit of courage and confidence. Brad finally got what he deserved. There was no reason for Brad and his friends to get away with saying such terrible things to someone as sweet and quiet as Patrick! That's incredibly disgusting. I am no advocate for violence, violence is never the answer, but sometimes, on occasion... someone REALLY needs a good hit to knock them into place and stop them in their tracks. Is that wrong to say? Pfft, I don't really care... It's my opinion. As long as it's not me doing the "knocking into place", we're good. But something had to stop Brad from continuing his immature behavior, and it was effective!

If you have to leave here with some type of advice, it would be this: never promote violence, always make it last resort. Never throw the first punch. But if it does come to it, make sure you go 100%, because if you don't, it will be a waste of energy.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower 5

After Patrick and his friend that he met at a party (Brad) were caught having sex by Brad's father, exposing the sexuality of the both of them, Brad decided to not keep the secret going and drop Patrick altogether. Not only did he stop talking to Patrick entirely, he made an effort to call him terrible names in regards to his sexuality. Isn't that sad?? It got so bad that Patrick became depressed and needed a lot of emotional support, which Charlie cheerfully gave. He would go with Patrick everywhere, to the movies, to the store, to the park... just to listen to him talk. Get all of his feelings out. And when I read this, it immediately reminded me of myself! I hate to talk so much about myself on my blogs (not really lol these are my blogs, after all...) but giving a lot of support is one of my better qualities. I'm a listener, not a talker, naturally...Something about sitting and absorbing information being given to me is really calming. But when I listen, I listen deeply and think through everything that is said to me. So many times I have been cut off, interrupted, ignored and blown off by people simply because they didn't have the energy to sit and listen to me in return. It's upsetting, but that is why I choose my moments to speak accordingly. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them banter and get all their thoughts out smoothly. I have yet to find myself my own Bianca.

If I Stay (Week 17)

January 29, 2016

"I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard."

This is probably the truest thing I've heard in the past week honestly. Here we have Mia, trying to find all of these ways to get herself back into her body so she can live on, wanting to hold on for the sake of those who care about her when she could easily give up and just fall into whatever happens after death. Fighting is always harder than giving up. Taking a stand or position on an issue is always harder and more involved than ignoring it. This is symbolic of a key lesson of life, a lesson that I've had to face constantly in my mere 16 years, and a lesson I have reminded my peers of an innumerable amount of times. I'll use my cousin as a personal example.

My cousin is 12 years old. Only in 7th grade. She's pretty young and is going through one of the easiest years in middle school. I remember when I was in 7th grade myself, having plenty of time to do whatever I wanted, never inhibited by the intensity of homework. However, she isn't happy. She's bullied incessantly by her peers in school, in person and online due to her appearance and sexual orientation, and is suffering mentally and emotionally from it. I love my cousin dearly, and I want her to be happy, so I talk to her periodically to make sure she's okay. Countless times she has texted me describing how she self harmed after being told another insult, how easy it would be to kill herself right now. Her family has had to remove sharp objects from the house entirely OR lock them up in a place she's unaware of to keep her from harming herself. And honestly, she wants to give up. Being in her situation, I'm sure anyone would. And she reminds me of her daily struggles of wanting to continue on with her life and pretend that the comments don't bother her. I always tell her that she's young and has lots to live for (even if she doesn't believe it) and tell her that it will get better, it always does. So she takes my advice and keeps pushing through. She could easily give up if she wanted to, and she has gotten so very close many times, but she continues on. It's hard. 

However, because it's harder, it's worth more in the end. The easy way out never feels rewarding because you put forth minimal effort. The process is grueling, you get tired and unmotivated and sad in the midst of it, but you feel empowered once you finally get through. Keep calm and carry on, folks. It always gets better in some respect. It always does.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Week 22)

Poor Charlie is so hung up on Sam even though she's a few years older. She told him not to think of her that because they won't be able to be  together, and Charlie took her advice. Anything that reminds him of her he basically blocks out. Very true to his word. But he likes her a lot, and everything about her.

I think this is the perfect time to talk about crushes, don't you think?

If there is one thing that my close friends know about me is that I hate crushes. I hate them, I do. And people ask me why because they're fun and make you giggly and awkward and makes good memories. Although this all might be true, they are such n incredible waste of time and energy ESPECIALLY when you are perfectly aware that they don't like you and probably won't ever like you back. What's the point in investing so much time while missing out on school lessons and friends' conversations because you're stuck in your daydreams?? As emotional and sensitive as I am, I hate it so much, yet I still engage in the behavior.

I have had so few crushes in my life because I never really paid attention to those things as much as the average teenaged girl would. I don't seek attention, I don't dress provocatively (and refuse to) and I won't change myself to be more appealing either. And appearance isn't my main concern! I think this really sets me apart from the majority. You can't base a person's potential, ability or personality on their appearance, and these things mean so much more in the long run. So why must we focus solely on external qualities??? It bothers me so much. With Charlie, he obviously recognized her external beauty initially when he met her and then really started to like her after he got to know her better. This is exactly how the train of thought should work. In Sam's case, she's beautiful inside and out, but not everyone is like that. You have to be careful and selective, people!!!! That's the only way you'll get what you actually want without getting hurt in the end.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Week 21)

People really seem to think that Charlie is good at keeping secrets, because at a party with Patrick and Sam, he found Patrick and his friend Brad kissing. Clearly, Patrick is gay and is open about it, but Brad is not. Patrick told Charlie that Brad wasn't ready for anyone else to know, so he wanted Charlie to keep it to himself. Seeing that this isn't some type of crisis, Charlie accepts stays quiet. And I applaud Charlie for knowing when and when not to speak up, because he could really find himself in some trouble.

I think it's an important skill to have, a skill that I have developed over the years. After my dark days in elementary, I started fresh in 6th grade. I remember the words of my mother clearly: "Remember, Bianca... Mind your business. Let people talk and don't comment. You'll hear a lot more that way." And boy was she right! Being that I was quiet and level-headed even at 10-11 years old, people would easily come up to me to vent about people or things bothering them. I would occasionally interject to show that I was paying attention and  following along but keep quiet for most of the conversation to allow them to open up entirely. This worked for me ever since. I find the most random of people feeling safe and free from judgment with me. Now I have such a broad array of knowledge and secrets about so many different people, but because I am a person true to their word, I never disclose anything I hear. It's a really cool position to be in, honestly, because you get to see people from a different perspective and get to know them a little deeper than the average peer. Charlie could easily be that person because he has the personality for it. He needs more recognition because he's a really cool guy when you read through his letters. I'd be friends with him. #teamcharlie

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Week 20)

*** BEWARE: These next few posts will be rants.

Poor little Charlie is often ignored or pushed aside by his siblings, especially his sister. Therefore, when Charlie witnessed his sister's boyfriend hit his sister after she repeatedly made fun of him and told him to defend himself, he was forced to keep quiet about it. Though it could be argued that she was aggravating him and pressuring him to "defend himself" explicitly, he did not have to resort to physical violence.

That got me thinking... Should we have to keep quiet of the bad things we witness of other people for their sake, or should we speak up for their own good?

I honestly think it depends on the situation, as some may have complications when brought up with a second party, but more times than not, you should get them help. So many times I have watched friendships fall apart because they "snitched" and told someone about the problem. They get extremely upset and shut them out, only to find that without them speaking up, they wouldn't have been able to totally change their life and get better. I can never be 100% on my stances on situations like this because I always take exceptions and loopholes into account, and we wouldn't want to undermine the effort, even with good intentions. In Charlie's situation, I would want him to tell someone that would listen to him, which he does. He tells about it to his best friend Patrick and Patrick handles the situation maturely and mentions it to Charlie's parents. Charlie's sister still hasn't forgiven him for it, but she'll learn eventually. They always do.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Week 19)

This book has an interesting style. I love novels written in journal form because it seems more realistic, you know? Sometimes it's nice to read fiction with realistic elements.

Charlie is an interesting person. He isn't super popular at school, he can't really dance, and he's a bit shy. He's a wallflower, as his friend Patrick mentions. And I feel like I can connect with him because I used to be like that, sort of.

I'm pretty sure I've told about my life in elementary before in one of these posts, but I'll talk about it in a different light. I moved to Marlton in 3rd grade. Being that most of my peers were 8 or 9 and had lived in Marlton all their life, they had grown up with their friends. Where I had previously lived in North Jersey, I had been extremely social. However, when I moved here, I started having problems IMMEDIATELY. Kids had their owns groups of friends and weren't really willing to let new people in. I looked physically different from them, being black with red hair, and the minority population in my school was extremely scarce. I can't really blame them, as they aren't totally used to seeing people outside of their race, but that didn't lessen how much it hurt to be excluding from EVERYTHING. My natural confidence dwindled to nothingness and my reputation tarnished. The girl that once loved being the center of attention was now getting more satisfaction from hiding in the shadows to escape the terrors of elementary school students. It sounds like I'm over exaggerating, but 8-9 year olds are HARSH!!

With this in mind, I really feel like I can fully understand how Charlie fits into the feudal society, if you may, of school. I was once in his place.

If I Stay (Week 18)

I love the ending of this book. It's just perfect.

After two days of exploration, trying to understand how to "stay" if she even had the choice to, all she really needed was her  boyfriend. In his presence, she could feel again... She could finally feel like herself, all the aches and pains from the terrible car accident.

What happened was her boyfriend Adam came and tried ridiculously hard to see her, and once he finally received the opportunity, he cried deeply. This was something that Mia had never witnessed before, as she mentioned on several occasions. It broke her heart to see him in such deep pain. And just like any boyfriend should, he exposed her to the love of her life: cello music. Mia is a serious cello player and is great at what she does, so when Adam put the headphones in her ears and played Yo-Yo Ma, she beamed internally. It was really what she needed. And just like that, Mia felt her spirit reenter her tangible body and could physically hear Adam as he spoke to her. He took her hand and with every ounce of strength she had, she squeezed his.

I know a lot of people aren't a fan of sappy romance stories with cliché endings, but I love all types of stories. That ending made me smile because it allowed my inner typical teenaged girl to come out haha. However, I do personally prefer more realistic stories. As much as meeting the boy of your dreams in your biology class in 10th grade and him falling for you several months after is an entertaining thought, I feel like it sets up unrealistic expectations for these girls in elementary and middle school. I must tell you... After all those Sarah Dessen books, I was deeply saddened and annoyed about how UNACTIVE my social and romantic life in high school was (and still is) in freshman year. Let's be real, folks... That one guy in your science class (why is it always science??) that doesn't even know your name is not going to spontaneously notice you and fall for you. High school isn't all its cracked up to be. Don't get your hopes up.

Algebra II

February 19, 2016

Honestly, I don't hate algebra. I've always been a logical person and have my favorite aspects of math that I can perform really well and apply to real life. However, I don't think it should be a requirement for anything as it does not engage the other types of thinking and abilities besides simple problem solving.

I think it's a bit of a reach when Arne Duncan claims "...algebra is a key, maybe the key, to success in college." This cannot possibly be true, as people go to college with the intent of studying things other than engineering or in the medical field. People have skills set in different areas and sometimes math is simply not a strength. Not being able to do algebra is not an indicator of your intelligence or overall ability as an individual in society.

However, I do agree with Duncan on the fact that algebra teaches logic and problem-solving because it honestly does. With so many different ways to solve an equation or make something equal something else is a direct test of how well you can fix a problem in a timely manner and while under pressure. Some people simply don't work well under pressure, and their own success in algebra can help them determine what kind of work environment they can handle and maintain. I know with my own math classes, it has showed me how to create alternatives to a problem and be able to apply mathematical rules to choose the best one. Because of this, it might have played a factor in my detailed thinking process before making a decision about serious matters.

As Wiggins points out explicitly, "You don't need algebra for a majority of jobs." And she's right. Everyone could honestly be able to get around and live safely with some basic arithmetic, and most people do, as they often forget how to do a majority of the higher level math problems that they learned in high school and college. If we want to reduce the stress of the average student, we should definitely make Algebra 2 an elective, and just have a class where the fundamentals of mathematics are introduced as a requirement. This way, students can decide if they are ready and/or more mathematically inclined and choose how much math they really want to learn going forward.

If I Stay (Week 16)

January 22, 2016

"People believe what the want you to believe." -Kim

When I saw this quote in the text, it got me thinking for a while because this concept that could easily have been said by an 11 year-old (at that specific time) was a concept that I could not comprehend throughout my entire childhood, as I had to withstand the ridiculous rumors that would spread about me in elementary school. I was clearly a very quiet girl at the time, and people would often ignore me when I spoke to them so I kept to myself, yet I would always hear people saying that I was "loud" and "obnoxious" and "annoying", straight from stereotypes of the average African American. I could never understand why people would constantly lie about my personality and behavior. Now it's simple. People truly believe what they what to believe, so they ignore any type of evidence that could obviously disprove their belief and continue to believe their stupidity. Although I was (and still am, frankly) a direct contrast of the stereotypical African American girl of 9 or 10, these upper middle class, ignorant white children wanted to keep the belief that I was lesser than they were and created believable rumors so that everyone else could do the same. And I felt isolated most of the time. Thankfully for me, as I entered middle school, I was introduced to a whole new set of people, where I created a lot more friends and felt more comfortable. Stereotypes hurt.

If I Stay (Week 15)

January 15, 2016

As I was read more and more into Mia's story, I really took a look at how Mia and Kim became best friends. Though they are the best of friends now, they started out hating each other's guts, and this was only in 6th grade. They were always paired together because of their similar personalities, thinking that they would get along well. But they did not get along at all at first. They'd never talk to each other for longer than they'd have to and they'd cast each other dirty looks. It's interesting to look at though because sometimes your own enemy is your best friend in actuality. One day, they got so fed up with the sight of each other and just got right into a fight. A physical one, at that. And there were a plethora of minor injuries like a busted lip if cut on the thigh, nothing noteworthy. Once the teachers pulled them away from each other, they laughed and became best friends, just like that. You don't always need a reason to hate someone, especially when the feeling is mutual. Sometimes you just have to fight it out and see what happens. Your enemy might actually turn out to be your closest friend.

Literary Analysis of 1984

January 14, 2016

Although Cass Sunstein and Robin West, cited in the article, state that George Orwell was wrong to think that there is a connection with political repression and the sexual repression rather than the repression of women, I don't think that was so off track. No matter how you look at it, the qualities that this utilitarian society prohibits are simple, natural actions of human beings. It was a crime to have your own thoughts about anything outside what Big Brother expected of you. There's not a lot of leeway there. Showing any type of emotion was considered suspicious. Taking different paths to your home suddenly is suspicious. You can't trust anyone because literally ANYONE could be thought police. That simple man that was thought to just own an abandoned shop was an undercover cop the entire time. Condemning sexual practices out of pleasure works the same way. Assigning sex to only one purpose, which would be to have children, makes it seem mechanical. As much as parents and even people my age complain about how centralized sex is in our culture and the premature exposure to it as children, sex is a very important thing. A necessity, if you may. Aside from the fact that it allows procreation, it is simply a human desire. Humans are inclined to make deeper connections with one another through it. And not to mention the numerous benefits physically and mentally that come from it. Repressing sexual desire through love or whatever in a nation removes the feelings of being in control, feeling confident, and being happy in general. In addition, sex is usually done in private, but in this world, you have no privacy. Your every move is seen, recorded and probably able to be calculated from constant surveillance. Each person loses a part of their natural nature. You become less human. And once you're less than human, you're a lot easier to control.

If I Stay (Week 14)

January 8, 2016

Wow... I didn't have much time to actually read this book during the break because I was too busy creating my own stories in my dreams LOL. Sleep was my best friend throughout the entireeee break.

Anyhow, back to the grind. As I got a little farther into this book, I took the structure into account. I really like the way the characterization is done. Often times authors will easily provide a description of a new character right as they are introduced to the story, really simple. And I don't have a problem with that. Here, each new character gets a pause from the story line. In the actual plot of the story, the main character Mia (the one that "survived", I guess?) mentions someone that she wants to see and then pauses the plot to tell a story involving how she met the character, what she thought of them, what they thought of her, and how they kept the relationship. It's a great way to do it because it makes it seem like she's talking to me. If I were talking to a friend about someone she knew that I didn't know, I'd really appreciate a nice background story to create some context, you know what I mean? Since Mia is also 17, rather close to my own age, she speaks and thinks like a teenager and that allows me to relate to her more easily. If I want to sound pretentious, I would even go to say that it allows the reader, especially the reader of high school age, to engage with the text in a casual way. But I'm not pretentious, so I'll let it be. ;)

Free Post (Winter Break)

So my break was pretty awesome. I was asleep for 60% of it, but it was great nonetheless. It was spent preparing for parties, engaging in those parties, working on homework and a history project, and hanging out with friends... Etc. My best friend turned 17 on Saturday too! It was pretty funny actually, because I was chilling at home when I received a call from him asking if I wanted to go to lunch with him. I said sure, of course, as I really only see him a few times each year, despite the short distance he is from me. It's a long story, but in short, my parents and his parents both have busy schedules so we rarely have time to get rides to each other's houses. Since he doesn't go to Cherokee, I can't see him every day either. :/ As soon as I agreed, though, he immediately asked where I want to go. Like um? It's your birthday... lol. But I had a lot of fun as we drove around a little and decided to go to the Promenade (don't worry, his mom was in the car!). We then ventured on to Barnes and noble, the Burlington coat factory, and Let's Yo!. We hung out for a good 4ish hours before he had to leave and go to dinner with his family. Hopefully, now that he'll have his license soon, we'll be able to hang out more often. At least, that's what he promised me.

Before Saturday, I had been working on my history project with my friend Lauren, as the project was pretty involved. We had to buy a scrapbook, age the pages, print out pictures and newspaper clippings, write descriptions/explanations and make it look "authentic". I mean, I suppose I could have made the actual book itself to make it look more authentic but I was just trying to enjoy my break and relax a bit so I put my overachieving self aside and bought one instead haha. I finally finished it in its entirety last night, as I only had a little left to do. I'm really proud of the product.

And best of all, I got to sleep. Pure, uninterrupted sleep. Without any worries about a next project, a precalc packet, or a presentation.

Ugh... It's only first period and I'm already tired of school... Take me home :(

If I Stay (Week 13)

December 18, 2015

On to a new book once again! I literally just began the first few pages of this book, so bear with me. I am actually liking it thus far. The introduction to what I believe to be the basis of the story was well developed, in my opinion. On a regular snow day, away from school, Mia and her family had simply been on their way to her grandparents' house. Mia had been planning to see her boyfriend Adam's band play at a concert later that day. The beauty of life lies in the fact that a course of events can be permanently changed within a matter of seconds. While on the road, I believe that a truck came on full force (not exactly sure of which direction) and hit the car, instantly sending everyone in that car flying. Mia thought to have come right out of the accident unscathed, except when she looked up, she saw her own body on the ground, bleeding profusely with closed eyes. This form of her, without scratches and impervious to pain... what is it? Is she a ghost? Is she a simple spirit? Is this because she is officially dead? She has no idea. But as she is carried off to the hospital and sees herself in the bed, she doesn't seem to be doing so well. Mia has no idea what to think of this.

I think the whole scene of it being just a regular day in a family's home was an excellent set up for the  unexpected because it is realistic. You go into this book blindsided by the car accident, just as anyone goes on with life and is blindsided by a devastating situation. You can't prepare yourself for life; you can only go with the motions and tackle all issues face to face and learn from them to try to PREVENT the situation from recurring or even just to protect yourself if it were to happen again. At the end of the day, you can't always prevent the unexpected. Something will always hit you unannounced and you will just have to consider your options from there. Hopefully, you'll be strong enough to handle it/ get through it. Unfortunately, some people don't even receive the opportunity.

1984 (Week 12)

December 11, 2015

Orwell has really had me thinking about the simple everyday activities that humans participate in. Something as simple as an enlightening conversation with a friend can be easily controlled by changing the dynamics of a language. People come and go, exchanging different strings of sounds and letters in order to portray thoughts to others to understand. That is an extremely complex concept if you think about. And rather fascinating. As Syme was describing to Winston about how Newspeak would remove the possibilities of describing certain thoughts and feelings by simplifying ideas to black and white concepts (like simply adding an -un prefix to a positive word to create only one negative), I realized how much power the government can truly have over its people. Honestly, that scares me. Especially because the government does have that kind of power today. Also mentioned in the novel, the government is engaging in constant surveillance of civilians and silently following those who seem like a 'threat' to society. And I have no idea what terms would exactly classify someone as a 'threat' either, so the thought is unsettling.

Here's what I'm trying to understand: does the power and amount of control of the government change as technology changes? I understand that terrorist attacks on the United States would obviously cause some shifts in the government's behavior with the people (as our own citizens can potentially be terrorists), but what if technology hadn't been as advanced as it is now? Would we still be watched in other ways, or would it not happen at all? If 9/11 hadn't occurred at all, with this same type of technology, would the government still feel compelled to watch over us as much as they do today? Maybe so, as Orwell had foreseen a society like this back in 1948, way before any of these things had shown signs of occurring...

Just a little food for thought.

A Week In My Life

January 19, 2016

I regret to inform you that a week in my life is utterly boring and rather scholarly. At the ripe hour of 2:27, I quickly stride along to my locker to collect and exchange my precious books and belongings to go on a beautiful journey back home to get started on my beloved homework. From a bright 3:30 pm to a fabulous 11:45 pm, usually later, I am cheerfully running those motors in my head, with occasionally breaks for food, social media, and sometimes (rarely) exercise! I repeat this stunning cycle usually 5 days each week, or only 4 if I'm lucky. I mean this all with full honesty. Allow me to expound upon the one day that I may have to myself.

If I am not bombarded with projects, essays, readings and packets, I usually have a few options that I create for myself. These would include:

a) read
b) go on youtube and watch interesting stuff
c) go on Netflix
d) sleep
e) waste time on social media
f) exercise

More often times than not, I wind up doing a combination of the above options, like reading before I sleep to wake up and exercise and use social media during breaks and so on. I also receive numerous text messages throughout the day, so now you can add in the time spent having long, thought-out conversations with my close friends, short,  usually school-related conversations with classmates, and calls from my mother to check on me while she's at work. And eating. Wow, I'm surprised that I didn't include that in my list... then again, I don't spend a lot of time actually eating, more so thinking about what exactly I want to eat and being too lazy to actually get the food.

My weekends typically look the same as my free days during the school week, especially if my parents are working. I'm home alone most of the time, and I don't have any younger siblings to look after, so I actually have time to do these things in excess. And then I try to not procrastinate my homework until Sunday night because I know that procrastination bothers me, yet my lack of motivation to even do the homework (that I always complete nonetheless) usually brings me to my desk at 9:00 pm Sunday night. Thankfully for me, I'll be getting a gorgeous Study Hall period next semester, where I will be able to do that irritating homework during a FULL class period without the fear of getting yelled at!!! How exciting!!!!!!

To add to my previous point, sometimes my friends ask to hang out during the weekends, like going to the mall, going out to lunch, going to some other specified place or just hanging out with them at their own house. I love getting out of the house, but because of the studious student I am, I usually wind up taking my homework with me because I don't want to forget about it either. My friends call me a "nerd", but I just call it "trying to maintain my good grades".

And that, my friends, was A Week In My Life with your host, Bianca Pierre! Tune back next week for A Day in My School! Love you guys!! xx

Free Post (DBQs)

December 14, 2015

The worst possible way to start your day is with a glistening history test with a full DBQ. Don't believe me? Try doing a full analysis of documents you've never seen before and base an entire essay around it at 8:30 am. I know, I know... this is just the start of it. Thank you, Ellis!!!!!

I don't hate essays necessarily. I am a critical thinker naturally. Analyzing documents and developing an argument isn't the challenge here. I am always ready to stand my ground, point out when people are ignoring evidence, and qualify arguments that fully understand all positions on. The challenge is doing this effectively; with a solid thesis, background knowledge, and using information from the documents to only support your thesis (NOT DESCRIBING THE INFORMATION IN THE DOCUMENTS TO PROVE A POINT!) in a limited amount of time, directly after 25-30 multiple choice questions and sometimes term descriptions. I hate being under stress, I hate feeling like I don't have enough time, I hate hastily reading documents I've never seen before. Guess what? The DBQ beautifully encompasses all three of these things, and more so! You can practically see all the happiness that is flowing out of me right now! :))))))))))))

Don't see this as saltiness towards Ellis, because I love that guy. Truly, I do. I may give him some "'tude" in class at times, but it's all good!!!!!!!! I promise. I am definitely annoyed for him giving me a DBQ so early in the morning ( aka next period ), but he's only doing what he's supposed to do, preparing me for the AP test... blah blah blah et cetera. I just love to complain :))))))))))))

WHOO! It felt so good to rant.