If I Stay (Week 17)

January 29, 2016

"I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard."

This is probably the truest thing I've heard in the past week honestly. Here we have Mia, trying to find all of these ways to get herself back into her body so she can live on, wanting to hold on for the sake of those who care about her when she could easily give up and just fall into whatever happens after death. Fighting is always harder than giving up. Taking a stand or position on an issue is always harder and more involved than ignoring it. This is symbolic of a key lesson of life, a lesson that I've had to face constantly in my mere 16 years, and a lesson I have reminded my peers of an innumerable amount of times. I'll use my cousin as a personal example.

My cousin is 12 years old. Only in 7th grade. She's pretty young and is going through one of the easiest years in middle school. I remember when I was in 7th grade myself, having plenty of time to do whatever I wanted, never inhibited by the intensity of homework. However, she isn't happy. She's bullied incessantly by her peers in school, in person and online due to her appearance and sexual orientation, and is suffering mentally and emotionally from it. I love my cousin dearly, and I want her to be happy, so I talk to her periodically to make sure she's okay. Countless times she has texted me describing how she self harmed after being told another insult, how easy it would be to kill herself right now. Her family has had to remove sharp objects from the house entirely OR lock them up in a place she's unaware of to keep her from harming herself. And honestly, she wants to give up. Being in her situation, I'm sure anyone would. And she reminds me of her daily struggles of wanting to continue on with her life and pretend that the comments don't bother her. I always tell her that she's young and has lots to live for (even if she doesn't believe it) and tell her that it will get better, it always does. So she takes my advice and keeps pushing through. She could easily give up if she wanted to, and she has gotten so very close many times, but she continues on. It's hard. 

However, because it's harder, it's worth more in the end. The easy way out never feels rewarding because you put forth minimal effort. The process is grueling, you get tired and unmotivated and sad in the midst of it, but you feel empowered once you finally get through. Keep calm and carry on, folks. It always gets better in some respect. It always does.